Sunday, October 22, 2017

Inside Out

I’ve never seen the movie Inside Out, but everything I’ve heard speaks to me because I’ve discovered that there are some very distinct characters that narrate my thoughts. Here are a few:

Anxiety: There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Arnold (from the Magic School Bus) is the voice of my anxiety. Every time something goes wrong (getting hurt, forgetting an assignment, bad traffic) I find myself thinking, “I knew I should have stayed home today!” 

Snark: This is voiced by Hades (the Disney one, not the creepy one). I try to keep a tight rein on what actually comes out of my mouth, but that doesn’t stop him from getting his say inside my head. Also, the more tired I am, the more airtime he gets. This is not a good thing.

Sass: Megara (also from Hercules). I don’t channel any of her flirtation, but I definitely have all the sass and a dry humor. Something about people with big egos really brings it out.

Introversion: This is voiced by Hades’ little minion, Panic. Every time somebody new approaches me and I wonder if I’m supposed to acknowledge them I get him pulling his ears and, well, panicking.

Realism: This is Merryweather from Sleeping Beauty. We are a bit too much alike, so she probably gets the most words out through my mouth. My favorite line is when she suggests that she would like to turn Maleficent “into a fat old hop-toad.” Flora tells her that they are good fairies, and are supposed to bring joy and happiness. To which Merryweather replies flatly, “Well that would make me happy.” Yep. That’s me. Also, we’re both obsessed with the color blue and are the only ones in our households with housekeeping/child-tending skills.

I have other character traits of course, but when I’m thinking their voices sound like me—not movie characters. Maybe that means that those traits are the real me. Who knows?





 




 
*Slice of Life originally published Oct 21, 2017

Impulse

Yesterday I was driving down Provo Canyon when I made eye contact with a guy I was passing. He looked familiar, but Heber's a small town--everyone looks familiar. I felt little uncomfortable, but no big deal. 20 minutes later we met at a red light. And heaven help me, I don't know what possessed me, but we made eye contact again and I WAVED! As soon as I did it my inner introvert voice (imagine this like the movie Inside Out, only it's Introvert shaking Impulse), starts shouting, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! YOU WAVED AT HIM???" We met at two more red lights. I was dying inside.

Thankfully he turned left just before I entered my own parking lot. What if he'd lived in the same complex? I would have had to talk to him! Impulse, take a seat and some duct tape. Let Introvert and Common Sense be in charge of driving.





*Slice of Life originally published October 9th, 2017

Crazy Student Teacher

I think I scared my little freshman roommate the other day. She asked how life was going and I started telling her about how crazy it it to be a teacher and a student at the same time: I am taught how to teach. I am assigned a lesson to teach. I learn the material the lesson is on. Create and prep for a lesson plan. Teach said lesson. Go to my own classes. Write an analysis of my teaching. Do the homework for my own classes. 

My roommate looks at me with a slightly terrified expression and I realize I am laughing hysterically.

"Do you need anything? Can I help you?" she asks, eyes wide.

"No." I moan as I try to contain myself, "I just need to go to bed..."

Sorry, Jessica. I'll try to keep the crazy tucked in at night.





*Slice of Life originally published October 3rd, 2017

"Thoughts Walking Home in the Dark"

Thoughts walking home in the dark:

Strange humans.
Cosmic lives crammed within boxes
within boxes.
One
upon
another.

Families and loners.
Full of love.
Full of tears.
Dreams--and fears.

Packed into little boxes.
Dolls in clamshell packaging.

So much inside them. And I forget.
Because they fit into a box.





*Slice of Life originally published Sept 26th, 2017

"I Dreamed A Dream in the Glenhood"

For my teaching writing class, we have to regularly contribute small pieces of writing (Slices of Life) to a wiki. I thought I might post them here as well. And so I present:

"I Dreamed a Dream in the Glenhood"

There was a time when rent was free
When the beds were soft
And the lights were inviting
There was even a view to see.
When noises were soft
And not quite so fright’ning
There was a time
Then it all went wrong...
I dreamed a dream in times gone by
When appliances worked and plumbing was draining
I dreamed my house would be pristine
I dreamed my house would be for living
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There were no utilities to pay
No floor unswept, no food left wasted
But the homework comes each night
With their workloads soft as thunder
As they tear your home apart
As they turn your dream to shame
I slept a year in the new dorms
The view filled my days with wonder
There were no scary stains to hide.
But then I moved for sophomore year!
And now I have this lifelong plea-
That only plants should grow and green.
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are rooms we cannot clean.
I had a dream my home would be
So different from this cell I'm living in
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the clean
I cleaned.


*Originally published Sept 19th, 2017

Friday, June 16, 2017

Mission Week 51

I'm pretty sure this week would usually be considered a slow week, but since I've been so low on energy, it felt really busy. The office is ridiculously quiet though. The managing director was out to Hong Kong for an area review and three of the other directors have transferred to different departments. It's been very strange seeing all the empty offices.

This week's tasks included:

  • Attempting to train my missionary replacement, firehose style.
  • Beginning to train my full-time employee replacement (so pretty much they got two people to replace me. Kind of wish they had done that earlier. He'll do a little more than I did though.).
  • Creating a contacts cheat sheet.
  • Doing all the stuff I usually do while attempting to put it into words more helpful than, "just push lots of buttons until you figure it out," which is pretty much how I do anything.
  • Helping plan my farewell, which I jokingly call a funeral because the person is leaving, you learn more about the person as they leave than you ever did in your every day interactions, and the talks start to sound like eulogies.
  • Learn about the process of reorganizing an entire department. I like knowing how things work, just not doing it myself. There is going to be a ton of paperwork and I'm so glad to be leaving that mess in somebody else's lap. I don't even feel guilty about it. Mostly.
I also finally, a week before I'm released, came up with a code-name for Alan. He would have been Genie, because his office is so small. See figure 1.2 for explanation:

Image result for cosmic powers itty bitty living space
Figure 1.2


Getting ready to leave my mission is a bittersweet experience. I'm definitely ready to move on to the next experience, and I'm very tired. But I will also miss things. I will miss the nice people and being part of something so great. I will miss working on Temple Square and feeling the spirit there. I'll miss getting to see things grow from Church Headquarters.

Plus, I'll have to give up all my special powers like being able to grant building access and stalking everyone in the in the building (I don't, but it's fun to know I could). Do you ever think, "Wow, it's a good thing I'm one of the good guys, because I could cause a lot of damage right now.? Because I will admit, I think that a lot. But I digress. I love my mission, but I also know it's time to leave. I love wearing my missionary badge, and I will be sad to take it off. Wearing that badge was a dream I've had for a long time, and I'm so glad I've had the opportunity to serve as a missionary, literally wearing the name of Jesus Christ on my heart. But it's okay. There will be other great adventures ahead.

Thanks for sticking with me.

Love,

Sister Ward


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Friday, June 9, 2017

Mission Weeks 49 and 50

My apologies to anyone who went in search of my "weekly" missionary post last week. I have been struggling to get over a new virus and my motivation to write was low. I also didn't have a lot to write about since I've spent most of the last three weeks home sleeping. It is very hard not to act trunky when you're already home and sleeping most of the day away.

My replacement has been called, so I started training him this week. It was a lot harder than I thought. I've made really good notes for him, but I'm not sure how to teach someone to turn finicky processes into a matter of habit. Ah well, he'll just do like I did and ask for help every day. The HR team has decided that it takes at least six months to be relatively competent at the job, so no matter how good you are, there is going to be a steep learning curve.

It's funny that it happened less than a month before I'm released, but an article has been written about my mission: Listen for the Whisperings. The author, Tiffany Tolman, is one of my fellow writers that I see every month, and she did a 'bang up' job.

My week was pretty slow, but I did experience some miracles. One- I've finally begun to feel better. The second miracle happened on the one day I made it to Salt Lake this week (a miracle in itself). Our Financial Director felt prompted to tell me about his son's ongoing illness (which sounds incredibly similar to what I've been experiencing), and how his son just happened to be assigned to an internship with an alternative medical practice that was able to diagnose his illness. After our family's fasting and praying to know what to do to improve my health, this was definitely a ray of hope for me. This was also the day after I finally prayed for myself to get better. I don't know why it didn't occur to me before, that I could pray for things for myself that I don't have any control over, but I never did until this week. My hope has definitely been strengthened by this experience.

Thanks and all my love,

Sister Ward

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Mission Week 48- The Stripling Warriors

Dear Friends and Family,

Happy springtime! Here at home the skies are blue and the trees are a luminescent green. Of course, spring here still feels like a war between winter and summer. We've all been trying to shake an exhausting virus, but hopefully this week is the last of it. Since I was home sick for several days, there's not much to tell you.

I did want to share one insight I had while studying the scriptures. I was reading in Spanish, which sometimes is frustrating, but also makes me slow down and think about things in a different way. This last week I was studying in Alma where Helaman talks about the 2,000+ stripling warriors. Of course, I've read hundreds of times how these young men were faithful and fought bravely, and even though all of them were wounded, not a single one died. Usually I focus on the miracle that not a single one of these boys died. And it is a miracle. But this time I noticed something else. Every single one of those boys was wounded, and many of them passed out from blood loss. Somehow in the past that was just the end of the story for me and they all went home happy. But that can't be what really happened. How many of those faithful young men lost limbs? How many had wounds that caused pain for the rest of their lives? It would be so easy to say, "But I was obedient and faithful, why do I have to suffer? Why do I have to have my dreams ripped away from me?" No doubt many of those young men struggled to adjust to new lives with limitations. It would be so easy to be bitter. But they were faithful. I'm sure that was not the end of their struggles. I'm sure they spent their lives adjusting to lost dreams and expectations. I'm sure they poured out their hearts to God, asking for healing and comfort. This story gives me hope. Even these most faithful of young men struggled with heartache and disappointment and pain. And God didn't take it away. Somehow, it makes me feel a bit more like it's okay when we feel these things. They are just a part of mortality. The thing to do is to focus on the amazing miracles. None of those boys died, and that was a miracle. Are there times when I'm so busy seeing the wounds and lost dreams that I forget to see the miracles that brought me there? It's certainly something for me to remember.

I've also been watching some of the "Gospel Solutions for Families" videos put out by the Mormon Channel. It's been fun watching these videos (mostly MC Studio) pop up because I get to see names that I recognize from my bishop clearances. I played such a tiny part in the whole thing, but it makes me really proud.

One of the videos I watched most recently was especially helpful for me. I know this video is longer, but it is worth taking the time to watch. They discuss meeting your own needs, valuing the different roles we play in our lives, and learning to say 'no,' among other things. The discussion mostly talks about mothers, but you can apply the skills and principles to anyone. I certainly felt it helpful for myself.

Thanks everyone!

Love,

Sister Ward

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Week 47- Real Estate Miracles and a Missionary Photo Shoot

Happy Friday to all my friends and family:

This week was good, with few trip-ups. Really, the biggest problem was that the "how to change your location for dummies" that I wrote last week ended up being for the wrong webpage. A little embarrassing, but totally something I can live with.

Most of my work this week was normal too, with few strange questions. I submitted reimbursement requests, wrote articles, and overall had a nice, settled week. That is totally fine with me.

We also had a really neat zone conference this week. A gentleman, Tim B., who used to work in Church real estate came and talked about some of the miracles and blessings he experienced while purchasing property for the church. One of the things he said particularly stood out to me. He mentioned that he bought a piece of land in Idaho over twenty years ago, and nothing happened with this land. It just sat there, maybe they farmed it. Then, this last year, they announced the building of the Pocatello, Idaho temple. Sometimes we do things that don't seem like a big deal or that don't make sense, but the Lord has his own timing and his own way of doing things. He will use us for good if we let him, but we have to trust in him. It may take twenty years, but from small and simple things will great things come to pass.

Tim also shared a couple of really neat stories that I would like to share with you:

1. Palmyra- Tim was part of the team assigned to purchase the property for the Palmyra Temple. They decided to build the temple on the Smith Family property, which the Church already owned, but they would need to buy up another property to create an access road.

Tim was told that the family that lived on this property not only wasn't interested in selling, but that they hated the Church. However, when he arrived at the house, the couple was very kind and friendly--just not willing to sell. They were confident that the Church was not able to pay what they were asking. Tim told them that he would worry about the money, but could he see the house? They let him see every room but one. He asked to go in, but was told that the family's ten-year-old son did not respond well to strangers and was best left on his own. However, Tim felt like he needed to see the room.

The walls of this room were covered in posters of NBA basketball players, including one of Michael Jordan dunking over Stockton and Malone. Tim struck up a conversation with this wide-eyed boy. Tim told the boy how his wife was a nurse and had helped deliver Stockton and Malone's children and that he had met them once. Of course, the boy was all ears. He said he wanted more than anything to have something signed by an NBA player (you see where this story is going, don't you). Tim thanked the boy, but was surprised to see the mother in tears. She explained to him that her son did not talk to strangers. Yet he had been delighted to chat with Tim. Well, that was miracle enough, but the story gets better.

Tim flew home, with no contract, and called a friend at the Jazz office. He explained that he needed something signed by Stockton or Malone. Of course, his friend resisted, reminding Tim that these men hate signing autographs and were downright ornery about it. Well, Tim insisted that there was a boy in Palmyra who needed an autograph and the Palmyra temple might depend on it, so you certainly will ask about that autograph! And right then, Stockton walked by. He wasn't happy, and there was some language, but six weeks later, a little boy in Palmyra got the autograph of an NBA player.

And so this family's heart was softened toward the Church and the Utah Jazz contributed to the building of the Palmyra temple. And in case you were wondering, this sweet family got a special tour of the temple that they sacrificed to build.

2. Nauvoo- Apparently we Mormons gossip too much or something, because when the Church inquires about buying land, rumors start flying, which no doubt drives our leadership crazy. A Catholic monastery in Nauvoo notified our Church that they had property to sell across the street from where the first temple had been built. However, when Tim went to talk to the nuns, they weren't willing to agree to any contract that was drawn up. He went home discouraged.

Not long later, Tim got word from President Hinkley that he needed to go back to Nauvoo and not come back until he had a contract for the monastery--and nobody could know why he was there (weird, right, but I guess if you want to avoid gossip). So Tim flew in late at night to avoid people. However, surveying the property the Church already owned, he ran into a missionary. Sadly, this is not the loving missionary story you wanted to read. When Tim vaguely explained that he just checked on Church properties, this missionary commanded Tim to "get rid of" the Catholics across the street. I, personally, was horrified to hear this. I don't know what this guy had against them, but I can think of no one less deserving of hatred that women who sacrifice their whole lives to serve the Lord and his children. Tim was disappointed too, to say the least. How heartbreaking.

Well, Tim prayed and prayed about getting this contract, and he kept getting a strong impression from the Lord that money wasn't the issue. When he met with the nuns, the Mother offered to let him walk around the property. Then, away from the ears of her Sisters, she explained, in tears, why she could not sign the contract. They needed to sell the property, which was too big for a monastery that was no longer running a school. However, if they sold it, there would be nowhere for her Sisters to go. They had given up all their earthly possessions to serve the Lord. The Sisters she loved and watched over would become homeless. Immediately Tim understood what the Lord meant when he said that the issue was not the money. Tim looked at this sweet Sister, so concerned for her flock, and promised that if the contract was signed, the Sisters could continue to live there, rent free, until their new monastery was built. As the crying Mother told Tim, "I think your God and my God must live in the same neighborhood." But I agree with Tim when he said, "I think they live in the same house."

Leaving with the signed contract that morning, Tim saw the missionary he had spoken to earlier. And he was heartbroken. This man would get what he wanted, but not for the right reasons. Here a miracle had occurred. The Lord had seen the needs of his daughters who served him in a monastery, and arranged for them to be taken care of and their needs met while also providing for the needs of our Church. This missionary would never recognize the miracle of the Lord's love for all His sons and daughters. Someday, I hope he will come to see that the Lord loves all of us, no matter how we serve him, and that we should be united as disciples of Christ.

Well, as Tim went home that day, he felt the original builders of the Nauvoo Temple rejoicing. Four years later, after the new monastery was built, President Hinckley made a historic announcement: The Nauvoo temple, abandoned and destroyed during the persecution of the Saints, would be rebuilt.

I love the Nauvoo temple, but to me, the best part of this story was the story of God's love for his daughters.

Now, for the less serious stuff:

This week I met with a Church photographer because they needed photos to go with the article about my Young Church Service Mission. I met with Sister Lisa Chriss, who is a professional photographer, but is currently using her talents to serve a mission for the Church. I thought she would just take a photo or two, but she took a ton, all trying to capture my job, and they turned out amazing. She was super nice, too. Since the pictures were taken for the Church, I get to share them with you:

You can kind of envision my enormous cubicle here. And in the background, there are a couple of Bethany's drawings: a hedgehog and a fox.


When I saw these pictures I was both amused and embarrassed. I'm amazed anybody has ever had the courage to interrupt me while studying if this is what I look like just copying and pasting data. =)


Dropping off paperwork. Which I had forgotten to sign. I had to go back later that day.

Here you can sort of see Trina. Trina was a good sport even though she had no prior notice.




Lisa wanted a picture showing the C.O.B. in the background. I enthusiastically support any photo that has flowers in it, so it worked out great. =)

Here is my supervisor, Trina, the lady who actually-knows-everything that is going on in Publishing Services, and sometimes even the rest of the Church. She would have liked to have had her hair back like she usually does, but she looks lovely anyway.

This is us pretending to have a serious conversation while I sit on her desk. I do sit on her desk when I come to talk, but usually the topic of conversation is, "Trina, I have a problem! What do I do about this!?"

I love this photo. And in case you were wondering, we were not working. This is what it looks like when you are supposed to look like you are collaborating with your supervisor and instead she shows you a video of a hedgehog in a bathtub. 

Love,

Sister Ward

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Week 46- Including a Scavenger Hunt

Happy Weekend! This week's activities involved:

  • More EAFs. They've slowed back down to a trickle though, so hopefully that means the department audit is over.
  • Writing "How to change your address on the intra-net for dummies," enhanced with pictures and big red arrows. Okay, I didn't name it that, but I don't know why people struggle so much to just click buttons until they figure it out. That's how I learned. Maybe they're afraid of messing things up.
  • Getting a good laugh out of the sign Alan put up: "Andrew is out gallivanting until ___. If you need help, talk to Alan." We may be slightly jealous that Andrew, the other member of our HR team, is out of town on vacation.
  • Passing more interpreter names to the access office. I seriously thought we'd be done by now!
  • Assigning lots of building access.
  • Processing lots of education reimbursements. Too bad I'm not into business. I could work for the Church and they'd pay for part of my education if it would improve my work. But somehow I don't think they'd find a degree in English Literature essential to business management. Bummer.
  • Mail delivery. You know how I feel about this.
  • Working on a couple of articles. This is really hard for me since my brain struggles to switch between data processing and creative thinking. It's like trying to pat your head and rub your tummy and jump on one foot all at once. Your brain does not like it.
  • Creating slides and a program for the meeting I don't attend.
  • Attempting to write up instructions for my administrative assistant job to help my successor. It was not very successful. A lot of that job is figuring out the odds and ends that fall in between the cracks. I also don't think I could write instructions on how to calendar meetings without double booking people or rooms unless I could show them in person. Maybe if I took five pages. Easier just to show them.
  • Getting last minute bishop's clearance for a Mormon Channel video. I was not delighted by the producer's choice to spring something on me just the day before filming. Thankfully, the bishop answers his e-mail, which is very lucky, since he was in Europe at the time.
The other fun thing that happened this week was that I started a Temple Square Scavenger Hunt. Now, before you get jealous that my mission is more fun than yours, I should explain that I am supposed to write an article on it to encourage employees to check out the wellness program. But hey, if I'm going to write an article on it, I have to actually try it out, right? I haven't finished, because the Joseph Smith Memorial Building is way bigger than I thought. It was really fun though, and I saw a lot of things that I want to go back and check out if I ever get a moment.

While working on the scavenger hunt I also met a really sweet little family. They asked if I knew where they could get a band-aid for their daughter. Luckily, I happened to have band-aids and stickers in my purse, just for this kind of thing. Can I have a mission where I hand out stickers and band-aids? Because I think that would be great for the Church and for me. I felt like a fantastic missionary after that.

I had to take photographic proof for part of the scavenger hunt, so at least this post will have some color! The gardens are as lovely as ever:





Sorry, lion. One of us was going to be cut off and I was already sitting down. They'll just have to accept half a lion-head as proof. What's with the lion heads anyways? Don't get me wrong, I love them, but they don't make all that much sense. The old Hotel Utah having eagles and the state symbol, that part makes sense, but lions?

I look a little concerned in this picture... Not sure why. Maybe just struggling with the camera. It really isn't built for selfies.









Some of the pretty stained glass ceilings in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building.


I sure get to work in some cool places!

I hope you all have a fantastic week and that your spring weather is the kind that puts a spring in your step.

I wish an especially happy Mothers' Day to all the wonderful women in the world. You don't know the good you do. You are more loved than you know.

All my love,

Sister Ward

Friday, May 5, 2017

Week 45- 7 Reams of Stickers

The post conference lull is officially over. This week's activities included:
  • Processing a blue-whale load of EAFs. This stands for Electronic Action Form, but should really stand for Endlessly Abhorrent Forms. They are very tedious. A new division is being made, one is taking on a different team, and managers are moving, so my inbox has been crammed with these work requests all week, and they are disgusting. Nobody wants to open their inbox and see that. It should come with a green screen before you open it: "The following inbox has been approved by Outlook for appropriate audiences. The e-mails listed have been rated R- Revolting. Contains boredom, minute details and some busy work. Not appropriate for audiences with a working brain."
  • Summarizing a business proposal for the Presiding Bishopric to approve. Changes are coming, but I'm pretty (100%) sure that I'm not supposed to say what I learn. It's still pretty cool to write something that I know will be read by the Presiding Bishopric, even if business proposals aren't exactly inspiring.
  • Processing Educational re-imbursements and reassuring people that, yes, their money is coming.
  • Getting interviewed about my mission-there will be an article about me in the future. How cool is that?
  • Cleaning out some of the stuff in the crawl-space. Since there isn't enough room to stand up straight, we don't find the motivation to clean it out very often. Among the items, I found an entire box full of my shoes from when I was about seven...I don't think we need to hold on to those.
  • Delivering office supplies. Did you know that Expo stopped making Expo markers? What is their purpose in life if not to provide Expo markers!? My teacher's heart is slightly broken. I was looking forward to buying my own box of pristine markers and getting to twist that squeaky cap off to set bright, sharp ink to the whiteboard. I might have to hunt some down and save them, because other dry-erase brands just aren't as satisfying.
  • I also finished organizing the storage space near my office. Someone must have had a grand idea that required a lot of labels, because among all the other strange things I cleaned out (plastic paperclips, enormous stamps, and brass fasteners long enough to kill someone with), I found 7 reams worth of brightly-colored single-page sticky-back card-stock. That's right. Giant stickers. Pages of red, green, orange, pink, yellow and blue in multiple shades. Of course, when I asked Trina how often it gets used, she admitted that the answer was never, but she felt bad throwing it all away. We decided we would feel grand about it if we could donate it to an elementary school (what kid doesn't want to make their own stickers?), so I packed it in a box to take home. It didn't seem that heavy when I put it on my own desk, but coming home was another story. It didn't take as far as the lobby for me to realize that maybe this was a bad idea. I was leaning back and bracing it on my hips to take some of the weight off my arms, which made me waddle in little baby steps. The conference center never seemed so far away. Correction. The front door never seemed so far away. By the time I crossed the street I was ready to grab the next able-bodied person and command them to hold the box for me. So, naturally, I saw nobody the whole way to the car. I was even about to set the box on a railing when I saw the sign "wet paint." Honestly. Stopping on the way home, I barely got the box into the school. I shoved it up onto the receptionists' counter and told them quite firmly that I didn't care if they tossed the whole box, I was NOT taking it back. Thankfully, they wanted it. I hope those kids really enjoy making those stickers.
  • Picking up a few writing assignments. They are all for the Church intranet though, so none of you will get to see them, even if they did apply outside of our workforce.
  • I also worked in the garden with Mom this morning. The weather has been so nice and warm all week and the sky has been a brilliant, clear blue. It makes me feel wonderfully energetic. I think humans ought to hibernate like bears. Winter is beautiful, but it saps my energy.

Friday, April 28, 2017

Week 44- 10 Months, Changes in Plan (again)

My health has been doing much better since I've slowed down a bit and do more of my work from home. However, that doesn't mean I don't get a lot done. This week included:

  • Transferring a saber-tooth-tiger load of employees. I think the finance department must be running an audit or something, because the requests just keep pouring in.
  • Organizing the hotel space (a cubicle for storage and visiting employees). This involved way too much wrestling with reams of paper and wondering "why do we even have this?"
  • A Writers' Community of Practice Meeting for which I used my awesome administrative skills, orchestrating a last-minute location change on my laptop...while walking. That's right. You're welcome, team. 
  • Attending a farewell. It seems to be that time of year...lots of people are ending their mission this month.
  • Passing along a new batch of interpreter names. I seriously thought we were done with this, but apparently not!
  • Handling more educational reimbursements. It must be that time of year too.
  • Attempting to explain to someone that I don't know when they will get their data, I don't have anything to do with fixing the glitch, no I really don't know when you will get a better list.
  • Assigning accesses and explaining that I do not have magic tunnel access granting power (the granting power being magical, not the tunnel). 
  • Digging out all the short stories I own for Carter to use for an English assignment. I kind of went crazy-english-major on him. At some point during my rummage through the basement, I came to a couple of conclusions. 1. We need to clean out the basement again and 2. I am not a normal person. I own a LOT of books.
  • Washing the dog (one of us smelled a great deal better after this adventure. It was not me).
  • Volunteering at the food pantry with mom.

I also have some pretty important news for many of you. While I originally intended to serve a 18 month mission, I will be ending my mission at the end of June.

I have been praying, attending the temple, and fasting about my mission and where I need to be. I thought what I needed to be praying about was a transfer, but it seems that was not the case. A couple of weeks ago, I finally got an answer. Over and over I got the prompting that I should end my mission. Of course, I thought, "that's crazy!" why would you say that? I thought I was just tired and hysterical (a downside to revelation in the middle of the night). However, everything I prayed about and studied affirmed to me that this was the Spirit speaking and that for whatever reason, it was time for me to wrap up my mission. I was even directed to a lesson in the Hinckley manual which began with the instructions to listen to the whisperings of the spirit in the middle of the night. It was by then, 3:00 in the morning. I wish I could say I was gracious about it, but in reality I was bawling and snivelling, and finally said, out loud, "Fine! I'll end my mission early if that's what you want! Just let me go to sleep!" And that's exactly what happened.

Despite my less than positive attitude at the time, I am feeling good about this decision and have received multiple spiritual confirmations that I am on the path God wants me to follow. It took a while for my brain to adjust to this new change in course, but as time goes on I get more and more excited about returning to school, even though I am sad about leaving my mission at PSD. (Someone once said that if you want to make God laugh, just tell him your life plans. I must make him laugh a LOT). That being said, I've re-enrolled at BYU, signed up for classes, and found housing. I don't know what life will bring, but as Mom reminded me today, our whole lives are missions, I'm really just getting a transfer to a new, exciting area. Until then, I am trying to just enjoy my last couple of months on the mission.

I love you all and hope you have a fantastic week.

Love,

Sister Ward

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Week 43- A Few Dances and A Complaint about the GSC


First of all, I found this video of one of my favorite songs--it always touches me, and this performance is fantastic. If you don't have time to watch it now, I was going to say save it for later, but actually, you should just watch it anyway. It's that lovely.



The last few week's activities included:
  • Processing educational reimbursements
  • Stuffing lots of papers in the confidential recycling bin
  • Running an audit of job descriptions, because apparently if a tree fell in the forest and the GSC doesn't have documented, signed, and perfectly formatted and delivered proof, not only did it not make a sound, it never fell at all.
  • Grumbling at the GSC because they kept on telling me that my e-mails were wrong and they couldn't process someone's back pay. They asked us to instead submit some document that never existed and when Andrew called, they said, "just send an e-mail." Ahhh!
  • Organizing desks (apparently the director is a neat freak and is too polite to say anything about it driving him crazy).
  • Terminating employees
  • Writing a letter of recommendation with a few blanks for my supervisor to fill in, as if I were her. This was a little weird and a lot harder than I thought it would be. Usually I'm the one asking for a recommendation, not writing one.
This was also a very busy week. We hosted a prom dinner at our house. It looked and tasted amazing, but was way too much work for us to want to do it regularly. Mom and I were pretty proud of our decorations. You'll have to check out the family blog later to see the results. I mostly just arranged flowers. We were able to get everything we needed from the garden, even this early in the year, and it looked fantastic, if I do say so myself. 

We also went to the band fundraiser for FHE, a swing dance. I was more than a little worried about this. I'm supposed to look and act like a missionary all the time, but our family activity was dancing... I loved swing dancing before my mission, and that made it harder. I just danced with the family, so hopefully nobody got any crazy ideas about missionaries. I just felt odd. It was fun to see Mom and Dad dance together, and I got to see one of my good friends. Sally started out as my flute teacher when I was nine and in some ways was like a surrogate mother to me. I still try to keep in contact with her and her family now that I'm in the great big world of grown-ups, so it was a real pleasure to see her there.



That's all for this week.

-Sister Ward

P.S. I love you

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Weeks 41 & 42- The Prince of Peace and Some of My Other Favorite Things

First of all, if you haven't seen the Church's newest easter video, this is your chance, because it is beautiful (and yes, Publishing Services created this):

You can see last year's video here:



However, my favorite is still the one from a couple of years ago. 


I am confused by many things in life. I don't always know where I'm going, and that's frustrating, and scary. But I do know some things. I know that Christ lives. I know He died for me and for you. He is our big brother, who would do anything for us, simply because He loves us. Because He atoned for us, He understands us perfectly. He knows what our lives are like and what makes us hurt and what makes us laugh. He knows how much we struggle. He suffered for our sins so that we could return to our home with Him and Heavenly Father. Because He broke the bands of death, we will all live again. I don't have the words or skill to express my faith in Him, but I know he hears the "song I cannot sing." I don't know many things, but this I do know: Jesus Christ is my Savior. 



Now, you may have noticed that I am not much of a picture taker. I generally don't have a camera with me, and even then my brain still seems to think I use film and have to be careful how many I take (someday my children are going to laugh at me when I try to explain film cameras). However, I've thrown that tradition out the window this week. Perhaps because I have been struggling to love my mission lately, I have taken a lot of photos of some of the parts of my mission that do bring me joy. I don't love the commute or the paperwork or copying and pasting data all day. But there are things that I do love. I love going to the temple. I love walking through temple square as the gardens come to life. And I love the spirit that I feel on Temple Square.

The Provo Temple: I know this is not the most glamorous of the temples, but it is MY temple. This is the temple I grew up seeing, where I was first baptized on behalf of the dead, and where I received my own temple blessings. I have been able to attend this temple since I was twelve. I have also been able to provide blessings for many of my own ancestors in this temple. This is where I have gone when I needed an extra measure of peace or answers to questions. So perhaps it is not the most gorgeous temple ever designed, but it is beautiful to me.





Temple Square Gardens: Some people say you shouldn't post too many pictures because people get bored. But you know what, I enjoy looking at my old pictures. You can scroll through them.

In front of the Conference Center:






In front of the Church Office Building, or COB. My office is actually just through those windows on the right.









My (not so quiet) hiding spot.




I couldn't get this picture to turn out, but I wanted to get my tag in it. I really love my missionary tag. There aren't very many people in the world who get to wear a name tag that says they are a missionary for Jesus Christ.




In front of the Beehive House


The front of the Lion House








The COB. It's not a gorgeous building, let's be honest, but it has a great view.



This one looks like a big frothy blanket.
























Were these alcoves meant to house statues originally, or was it intended for future photo taking purposes? Who knows, but I'm just saying, I don't need a wedding dress to rock the picture pedestal.



It's like tulip mania out here. Some day I'm going to plant loads of tulips so I can have a beautiful garden and cut flowers whenever I want them. 






A lovely picture...except for the traffic cone. I guess they don't want us to forget we're in Utah.


The Assembly Hall. This is one of my favorite buildings on Temple Square (besides the temple, obviously). I can't believe I got to play my flute in here when I was in high school.







If the lighting's bad and you're not much of a photographer, no worries! Add a filter and it will look like you were just being artistic...