Friday, August 26, 2016

Week 9- Mastiffs, Scammers, and Sultans of Syntax


This has been a good week. I've been really exhausted, so I'm going to try going to bed a half hour earlier each night to see if that will help. Other than that, everything is going great. Monday and Tuesday are always chaotic because the directors have their big meeting on Tuesday afternoon, so people want everything processed in time to make it into the meeting. I also make the assignments and set up the agenda for the meeting. Thankfully I don't actually have to attend the meeting, which goes over three hours.

Desk of the Week: Front Reception Desk (meaning lots of traffic and questions that I don't know the answer to). Why is it my job to know about the fourth floor bathroom having a leak? I'm a writer, not a magician.

Tidbits from this week:


  • I didn't have to deliver any mail this week!
  • I edited a document that details how we report our work. I have no excuse for not following the rules now. Unfortunately. I don't get paid, so you would think it wouldn't matter if I didn't log my hours, but I guess they use it for research purposes.
  • I created a letter telling managers what to do with the computer equipment when an employee leaves. I got to slap them on the hand a bit because people keep trying to hold on to equipment for other employees. It was kind of nice to write something that was nice and clear and says "Do not...! This includes...!" Nice and simple. Nobody can tell me they didn't understand THAT.
  • Carter and I saw this huge mastiff across the street (with its humans) and decided we needed to go pet him. This dog probably weighed fifty pounds more than me. He was also adorable. Once he realized we were there to pet him he sat right down (on Carter's foot). His ears were huge and super soft, like fuzzy elephant ears. He was also very slobbery. We got a lot of love. He tried to kiss Carter on the nose, but Carter declined that offer.
    • This is what a Mastiff looks like:


  • I actually got some writing done this week, which was really nice. Writing is the part of my mission that I find the most meaningful because I get to share the gospel and by writing I am providing something unique that I hope can help others.
  • Someone's bishop shouted at me this week. Yep. You see, everyone who works for the Church has to be temple worthy. This includes people in the videos we make. So every time they want to interview someone they might have in a video, the HR assistant calls their bishop. Since I am in training, I got to make some phone calls. It's supposed to be really easy. Well. First phone call I make and the bishop decides I am a scammer. (What possible gain I would get, I have no clue). So this bishop starts tearing into me with righteous indignation because my "area code is wrong" and "he doesn't believe" me. I can't be "who [I] say [I] am" because "that question is totally inappropriate." When he finally listened to me I explained (for about the third time) that I could call back on an office phone which would have the correct area code. As it turns out, I am not a scammer (wow, really?), and the person was totally temple worthy, so I don't know what he was protecting. I'm sure he felt rather sheepish, but I was just downright mad (I kept my temper, thank you very much). He yelled at me...for being something I wasn't. I guess it just goes to show that nobody is perfect. I can laugh now, but seriously, I was so steamed that he would blatantly tell me that I was a liar. Me, a sister missionary doing her job! So for future reference, if you are going to chew out a scammer, make sure they actually ARE a scammer. That part is important.
  • A new institute class is starting, so I am enjoying going to that as well. You just don't get that kind of spirit in CTR 7. I try to bring the spirit to primary, but it is hard to feel it myself when I am trying to teach while helping the kids behave.
  • I interviewed two writers this week. One of them was super fun to talk to and I learned a lot from her. The other one seemed to think he had nothing interesting to say and so he didn't give me very much to work with. If there is one thing that I have learned from these interviews, however, is that everyone has something interesting about them and has something interesting to say. It's like the Doctor says, "900 years of time and space and I've never met anyone who wasn't important."
  • I saw a guy standing in his cubicle on Monday and was distinctly reminded of a giraffe in a zoo. He was really tall so his head and shoulders came over the cubicle wall and he could see everything around him. I almost wanted to laugh. It's a good thing nobody in our family works in cubicles. That would be a lot of giraffes.
  • I realized I never want to work in any kind of leadership or management position. I hate attending meetings and running errands. People come to me for all sorts of things, thinking I know the answer. I feel like I never actually get anything done. Also, the amount of silly paperwork is ridiculous. Thank goodness there is a lot less of that in teaching. 
  • The sister I ate lunch with last week stopped by to say hi and told me something funny. Apparently someone who works in the translation department saw me delivering the mail and thought I was cute. So he told his sister who asked my friend if I was the dating kind of missionary (I'm not). But it made me feel good, especially since when I deliver the mail on that floor I'm usually very frustrated and tired. Also, I can just enjoy the compliment because I can't date so I don't have to worry about actually doing anything about it. No strings attached. =)
  • I also attended two writers' meetings this week. I love writers' meetings. Our manager is hilarious for one thing. His e-mail lists his job title as "Sultan of Syntax." I think I will use that as his code name. It's a little like being at BYU again, with people who think a lot like me and enjoy a similar sense of humor (a rather verbose one). I also get to learn a lot from these other writers. I miss school and it is hard now that I know everyone is going back, but I love our community of practice meetings where I get to learn from the experts. This last week one of the writers gave a presentation on the conference she attended on spiritual/religious writing. She learned a ton and made us all want to go for ourselves. 
I think that is it for the week. I want you all to know that I love you. The gospel is true. The Lord loves each of you. Remember, he isn't bothered by our imperfections and failings, he takes us just the way we are. When Enoch and Moses told the Lord their faults, he didn't say "Then again, I'll ask that other guy." The Lord qualifies those whom he calls. He knows our weaknesses and will help us despite them. 


Friday, August 19, 2016

Week 8

I am still desk bouncing because I don't have a desk. There really isn't room for another one on the first floor, where I am needed, so I don't know what they are going to do.

This week's desk: Aussie Director was out for the week, so I got his really nice office with floor to ceiling windows. It will be hard to go back to desk bouncing next week. (I have decided to use descriptive code names for the people I work for so I don't have to explain who they are each time).

This week I worked on:

  • Delivering a little mail.
  • Rerouting most of the mail.
  • Throwing away ads that nobody wants and should have been sent to their home address anyway.
  • Interviewing a very friendly writer and writing his bio.
  • Nagging writers who refuse to respond to my e-mails.
  • Setting up meetings.
  • Practicing being an HR Assistant and going to their meetings.
  • Writing an article for a study for Mormon.org
  • Writing articles for undecided publication sources.
  • Learning how to process receipts.
  • Buying lunch for meetings that Actually-knows-everything Supervisor called the "War Rooms Meeting," because some people attend so many meetings that they don't have time to get lunch. Based on the name, I'm glad I didn't have to attend that meeting.
  • Add myself to an e-mail list that I realized I can control and yet am not on...
  • Give people directions, usually to the bathroom that for some reason is behind two locked doors.
  • Drug Bust...no, really. The security guards needed someone to check if anyone else was in the women's restroom and then they wanted to know if the other exit was locked or if there were any syringes in the trash. I don't know if they found anything or not because I was leaving. I probably would have heard if they had, though. Kind of crazy, but it makes for a funny story: "Sister Missionary assists with Drug Bust at Church Headquarters." Ha.

This week I went visiting teaching with Mom so that I could see a litter of brand new Old English Bulldog puppies. They were so adorable. They actually looked more like small guinea pigs because they're so small and round. They had the softest peach fuzz, but they already had ripples in it where they will have wrinkles around their pink little noses. They didn't even have their eyes open yet. They were so cute, but dogs and college apartments don't really get along...

I also passed a deer on my way to institute that had only one antler. I named him Max after the Grinch's dog.



I also talked to a couple of cute little girls, 7 and 5, who had come to the Church Office Building to have lunch with their daddy. They came up and asked where I and my friend were from because their daddy said if they were going to be missionaries someday they would have to practice talking to people. They were super cute.

The last thing I saw as I was leaving today was an elderly couple on motorized tricycles. They were like the sports car version of the motorized carts you see at the grocery store. It made me grin. I think that couple had the right idea. Now they just need the spinners on the wheels and a boom box. I would totally ride around town on one of those, blasting my music at all the young folks and living up my old age.

P.S. I love you all.

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Week 7

One of the problems with working in an office is that while I am always busy, there aren't a lot of stories to tell. I did teach the lesson at our district meeting this week and I feel like it went well. It can be a challenge to get some of the missionaries to participate because many have social or learning disabilities, but I think I did my best and that's all we can ask for anyway.  Our lesson was on leadership through service. When we serve others we are serving God and when we serve we are showing leadership, so as missionaries (specifically as service missionaries), we are leaders. That's kind of a convoluted way of explaining that, but I did it in 30 seconds instead of the 30 minutes I had to teach.

I am also teaching the lesson "I can be a good example" in primary. I actually enjoy teaching primary, but it takes a lot of preparation. It's hard to both keep the spirit and find activities that will keep their attention. 7 and 8 year olds really aren't meant to sit still and listen for an hour. Today we will talk about how letting your light shine is like being a superhero. You wouldn't want to hide your powers and stop helping people, right? I have a team teacher now too, which helps a lot. She's really great with the kids and helps them both learn and be reverent.

The other things I did this week include:
-Rewriting a newsletter (this requires some acting skills because I actually don't get excited about new computer programs)
-Sending a lot of e-mail
-Scheduling a lot of meetings
-Delivering mail
-Rerouting stacks of mail sent to the wrong address (I'm looking at you Family Services)
-Writing summaries I don't understand of financial presentations I don't understand.
-Finding people who don't answer their phone
-Training on how to find someone's bishop
-Forgetting how to transfer calls
-Organizing desk drawers
-Attending institute (which I especially love)
-Companion Study
-Personal Study
-Preparing lessons

That's about all I've got for this week. Keep praying and hold on for the ride.

-Sister Ward

P.S.  I love you.