Week 35- If I were a Disney Villain

This week was pretty slow to start out with. Church offices were closed for the Monday holidays and then I was out sick for two days. So by the time Thursday rolled around I was determined to make it to Salt Lake.

Well, I have decided to use (read: stretch) my internet privileges to illustrate my day for you, using one of my favorite Disney characters. I used to like the movie Hercules because of Meg. I loved and could relate to her independence, snark, and romantic cynicism.

However, as time goes on, I appreciate Hades more and more. I'm not sure if that's a good thing for a missionary to say, but at least I'm honest, right? He's independent, snarky, and cynical too. He just can't control his temper. I don't have much of a temper, but the voice inside my head can be a bit of a drama queen and sounds amazingly similar sometimes... Also, we both have fantastic hair. So, with the help of Disney, I present: Thursday.

7:50-I roll out the door on time with everything I need, looking fabulous. I've even done my makeup.

8:05- A sign informs me that the freeway is closed, and I turn back. The internet informs me the road will be clear within 20 minutes and I head back out.

8:20- I get stuck in traffic. In the freezing cold. There is no way off the freeway.

I move two miles. In two hours.  At this point I am strongly reminding myself of Arnold from The Magic School Bus as I repeat: "I knew I should have stayed home today! I knew I should have stayed home today!"

11:00- I walk into work after making a very unprofessional mad dash across North Temple in the snow.

I discover that someone has fudged their paperwork, that finance is making my life hard for a reason I don't understand, and the interpreter names are not even close to being done on time.

Sometime in between- Sister Polynesian Princess tells me that she found one of my articles on Facebook and she loved it!

11:50- I discover the new mail delivery missionary has not been delivering the mail.

12:30- I hunt down the new mail guy and arrange to teach him how to do it again at 1:00

1:00- Mail guy is not there yet.

1:15- Mail guy still has not showed up and I just do it myself.

(Okay, not really. But the expression was too perfect).

1:40--I'm leaving late, knowing I will have spent 4 hours driving and only 2.5 at my assignment.

So that was my Thursday. You know, looking back, I realize that Inside Out (which I haven't actually seen) works really well. I definitely have a Hades in my head. And Arnold. Arnold would perfectly narrate my anxious self.

Friday definitely went smoother. For one thing, I worked from home and avoided all the traffic. I don't think I could have handled it twice. However, best of all was that I woke to a new e-mail from my best friend. She's having a little girl! This is the point where I get to say "I told you so." Because I didn't actually know, but Mandy and Derek thought it was going to be a boy, so I decided to root for a girl because if it was, I wanted to be able to say "I knew. I was rooting for you all along."

This is just a random baby, but she's cute and she looks like she's cheering. You're welcome.

Actually. That picture kind of (really) makes me want to cuddle a baby. 

Maybe I'll go find the dog... =)

That's it for this week.

-Sister Ward

P.S. I love you.

Week 34- Signs of Spring and a Special Visitor from Chicago

Despite being inexplicably exhausted, this week has been a good one. My assignments were easy to solve and I had something to look forward to.

This week my more unusual assignments included:

• Teaching a sixth person to do the mail. Sixth! (At least the last guy left me an origami elephant as an apology. He transferred to the Temple Department, but he knows I've had trouble getting reliable people to do the mail.)
• Delivered mail. They finally have an updated directory, so it's a little easier now, although a division has already messed it up by moving around.
• Editing a letter from the Managing Director to managers.
• Submitting a FMLA request.
• Insisting that employees have been transferred and that I have no idea why they still show up on the wrong manager lists.
• Lots of bishop clearances for Mormon Channel videos.
• Ordering 20 copies of a book from Amazon.
• Organizing the Managing Director's itinerary for a business trip.
• Mentally cursing the GSC because they decided that if we don't like the way they put multiple people in the same position, then we will have to hire them all manually. This takes forever, and I didn't have anything to do with it before.
• Requesting Timesheet adjustments.
• Finally sorting out the missionary badge order. We had to try about five different unit numbers before we found the right one. This would be a little easier if our department wasn't so huge.
• Working on a primary lesson on King Benjamin.

The penultimate good news for this week is that flowers are beginning to bloom on temple square! Pansies and crocuses! I love crocuses. We've also had clear skies this week, which make a big difference for me.

The absolute best good news is that my best friend, Mandy, flew in from Chicago to attend a friend's wedding. Her Utah friends should keep getting married, because it works out great for me. I was so excited to see her I ran across temple square shouting her name. We had a grand old time just spending time together. We ate a delicious meal at Lion House and then looked at all the artwork at Deseret Book. It was so good to see her and just relax. Funny girl, she's been keeping a list of all the dumb things that make her cry while she is pregnant so that she can laugh about it later. I cracked up when she read it out to me. We may not be roommates anymore, but we'll always be friends.

These pictures just make me happy. =)

I also listened to a great talk in the car this week. It's called "Dare not to Compare" by John Hilton III. It was a good reminder to me that God does not compare us to others. I highly suggest listening to it if you get the chance. I found the slides with the quotes he used online, which I also suggest reading: http://www.slideshare.net/johnhiltoniii/dare-not-to-compare. My favorite quote was on slide 13, by President Uchtdorf. Give it a read.

On a slightly related note, I am also working on being confident. I want to love myself, and I also believe that when we are confident and love ourselves, we give other people permission to love themselves.

That's about it for this week. Everyone take good care of yourselves.

Love,

Sister Ward

Week 33

This week has been a good week, but I'm glad it's finally Friday.

This week's activities included:

• Having to tell Andrew that the "ball of snakes" he thought he had finally solved was still a mess. It took him, I kid you not, two hours to figure out four position numbers. I was so glad he did it and not me. I just fixed the mistakes after the fact. R.I.P snakes. May you never rise again.
• Finish an article. It was one of those weeks where I finished an article on Tuesday and didn't find a moment to submit it until Friday. At least it got submitted.
• Got "involved in a land war in Asia" while playing Chinese Checkers. Sister Gowans (a.k.a. a wolf in adorable sheep's clothing) and I are no longer allowed to sit next to each other.
• Taught our ward's young men and women about service missions.
• Scheduled meetings 
• Made travel arrangements for the managing director (I actually just had to work with the Travel Office, they do the hard stuff).
• Ordered missionary badges. We're not sure whose job this is, but I guess it is mine now. I asked around and the missionary department forwarded my e-mail back to my own supervisors, not realizing that this would make a complete circle. It still amazes me how often I try to figure out something at my supervisors' request and get referred back to them. I should just preface all my e-mails with "Andrew and Alan would like me to ask you..."
• Fixed duplicate position numbers (this is like having two people in the same chair). I'm getting better at problem solving as time goes on.
• Organize lists of interpreters. I'm pretty sure the manager is adding more while taking others off, and it's wrecking my system. Sometimes I wonder if he reads my e-mails at all.
• Actually, I frequently wonder if people ignore my e-mails because I'm a missionary. Which is unfortunate, since I help arrange things for managers, whose work then gets backed up.
• Explain again that I can't transfer an employee if I don't have anywhere for them to go, neither can I terminate them just because you don't know who they are. They work for somebody. 
• Bought birthday cards for the sister missionaries.
• Suffered through companion studies in which my companions talked about video games and fan-fiction for a whole hour, despite every effort to redirect. It would be fine if I wasn't missing work I needed to do to read scriptures. Those scriptures not being read, I got a little frustrated.
• Called the HR software master to explain that I was getting records that I definitely was not authorized to approve.
• Edited a PSD announcement.
• Was severely tempted to buy a giant stuffed lime green dinosaur. He even had a red heart on his foot. I would have named him Wally, and he could have sat next to me on my drive and we would have been the best of friends. Depressingly, my adult self won out and he was gone the next time I went to the store. Good-bye Wally. I know we would have been BFFs.

I do have some pictures to share this week. I finally took a few to use for my presentation for the youth, but I'm glad I have some pictures for myself too.

 The Cafeteria:

Cookie/Doughnut Bar in the foreground and fancy desert bar in the background. These are my greatest downfall.

Some of the Missionaries  You can see our game of Chinese checkers going on in the middle.

We are slowly taking over the cafeteria. Before we barely took up one row, now we take up two or three. We have decided we need a banner to declare our intentions to conquer the lunchroom. Ideally it would have a stick figure missionary with a fork in one hand and a giant missionary-badge shield in the other. We have a bunch of people with graphic design skills here, but since none of them have time either, we just imagine.

Week 32...and the rain came tumbling down

This has been the most hectic week. I have learned some good things though. At home we talk about how if you had just won a million dollars, you wouldn't care if someone cut you off in traffic, because you have this 'reserve' of good fortune. If we consider the good things in our lives as part of this reserve then when bad things happen they don't really bother us. This was definitely true for me this week. Physical Therapy is finally starting to pay off. My head barely hurt at all this week, and it was such a relief that I didn't even care when I spent 2 hours on the phone in a wild goose chase.

I'm starting to think it would make a shorter list to say what I didn't do this week, but here goes anyway:

• Finish setting up international phone call meetings.
• Spend 2 hours calling people who sent me on to other people and so on because my HR software access got locked. 2 hours. Nobody knew who was supposed to be in charge of it. "Oh, you're a missionary, I'll send you to the CSM rep."-->"Oh, you're a young missionary, you have to see the YCSM rep."--> "No, you have to talk to your mission coordinators"--> "No, you have to talk to HR." I am HR! It was ridiculous.
• (Not to disparage anybody though. Everyone was really nice and doing their best to be helpful. They just didn't have any idea).
• Processed a nice, simple, pre-calculated education reimbursement.
• Get caught in the fallout of a misunderstanding about who was supposed to register 500 interpreters. You read that right. 500. Nobody did it. And now the manager is mad. He wants it done ASAP. But we need personal information for all 500, and then have to enter it manually after creating a job just for them. I'm not exactly loving Church Security this week because they were the ones that insisted that everyone be registered. Well, pooh to you, Church Security. (Okay, not really, I'm glad you keep everyone safe. But really???)
• Ball of Snakes. There is no verb here. Nothing has been done. We can't even figure it out. Somehow the information for 4+ jobs has gotten mixed up through all the hiring and transfer processes. We can't figure out which job is which and who has been hired for what. In the end, Andrew and I decided to leave it for Monday in case our unholy thoughts about it caused the whole skyscraper to come tumbling down around our ears (okay, and because he had an appointment).
• Try to organize information on all the Sister Missionaries that my co-Assistant and I are over. I have decided that her code name is Sister Polynesian Princess, because she seriously looks like the Tongan version of a Disney princess. Big eyes, pretty smile, long, thick wavy hair...
• Almost beat Sister Board Games at Chinese Checkers, my second time playing. We ran out of time though, or I'm sure I would have been beaten soundly.
• Transcribed "confidential" meeting notes. It kind of made me laugh that they were confidential. Not being a business person, I barely understood what I was reading, and certainly didn't find them interesting enough to ever bother someone else with the information...
• Track down more mystery employees.
• Assign access so people can get set up for RootsTech. I had no idea what a huge project RootsTech is. It's crazy!
• Attend lots of meetings...
• Glare at spreadsheets.
• Call and e-mail Bishops to get clearances for potential interviewees.
• Move lots of employees.
• Make phone calls, answer an elephant load of e-mails, and do a lot of record sleuthing in order to figure what the heck is going on with everything. Why can't people have nice easy problems to solve?

Week 31...7 months!

It is hard to believe I have only been on my mission for seven months, but at the same time, everything feels new. I know the routine of work, most of the people, the building, and a good portion of the jargon (some of it has become so natural I forget and mom and dad have to ask for explanations)...And then someone e-mails me with a strange request and I wonder what on earth I'm doing in a business. Still don't know what a midpoint is...

I have also been called as one of two Sister Assistant leaders. Until this point we've never had Sister leaders, so I'm not exactly sure what this is going to look like. However, I did pray about it, and although I am very scared about pushing my body too far, I did feel like I should follow my desire to minister to the other sisters. I am praying for courage. I would be grateful for your prayers as well.

This week's activities included:

• E-mailing Area office managers throughout the world to set up phone calls with the Managing Director.
• Getting a phone call from New Zealand
• Being severely tempted by a job opening in Self-Reliance Services to teach in the Chuuk islands for a year. (Chuuk is a set of little itty-bitty but beautiful islands south-east of Guam). I googled it. =) Too bad I need to finish up school.
• Transferring employees
• Terminating employees
• Fussing with spreadsheets. I swear, we just keep making it more complicated. Green for this kind of request, blue for the other. Yellow for 'starting to take too long,' orange for 'you're really pushing it guys' and red for 'this is way late and someone is going to decide you don't really need more employees.'
• Assigning building access.
• Submitting paperwork for job changes.
• Lots of driving through snow. Fun fact, if it's sunny and clear at home, then as soon as I hit Parley's Summit, the weather will be snowy. If it's horribly icy at home, then the weather will be clear from the moment I hit Parley's Summit. That's the dividing line, without fail. If I want to know the driving conditions I have to check both sides of the mountain. On Thursday they even switched so it was clear when I left home and icy in Salt Lake, then when I came home it was sunny in Salt Lake and icy at home. What is this madness?
• Set up meetings.
• Ask (again) if our main software was down or if it was just me. Thankfully it was the software this time. It can process a ton of information, but it's really not user friendly. You know that scene in Finding Nemo where the fish shakes his fist and shouts, "Curse you, AquaScum!" ?Well, that's how I feel about this software. Just picture me using that exact same tone of voice (a.k.a. desperate) and shaking my fists as I cry "Curse you, PeopleSoft!" into the quiet of our office.
• I learned how to play Chinese checkers. One of the sisters brings the game board to lunch every day. I've been watching for a while, so I decided it was time to try it out. I did quite well for never having played before and it was really fun. The other sister dominated the game though. It's pretty fun just to watch everyone trying to block her.
• Worked on an article that's due to be published in March.
• Played Joseph in Egypt with the cat....Merlin pounced on me while I was putting my contacts in. Since I was temporarily blind as well as allergic to the cat, I had to leave my coat (bathrobe) behind in the cat's claws and find mom to remove said furry creature. Thankfully, the cat can't speak to defend himself or I might have been the one tossed out in the cold. =) At least it wasn't my fault that time... A few weeks ago I was teasing the cat through the crack in the door with the strings on my sweatpants. I won't make that mistake again. He wouldn't let go and I couldn't get around the door since I was attached to him by my own pants. I had to shout for someone to come and rescue me. That was just a tad embarrassing. Just a tad.
• I Finally sorted out the education reimbursement for the guy who pretty much vomited all his school records into my inbox. Seriously man, couldn't you at least sort out the relevant information for me?
• Try not to feel bad for pestering my managers with questions. As Andrew says, they like when I ask questions, because if I go all day without questions then they know I'm just making things up. Which is actually a pretty accurate description of how I function. At work and in life. Alan said that it made them feel good because otherwise they would feel unnecessary. Ha. Just HA.

The weather finally has cleared up for a moment and I was able to see the mountains "for the first time in forever." They were so beautiful, reflecting the golden sunrise. It reminded me why I love living here. Even when it is cold.

That's about it for this week. 

-Sister Ward

P.S. I love you.

Week 30

This week I've mostly just focused on staying on top of my work and making it to physical therapy.

Things I did during my mission assignment:

• Lead a discussion on the talk "The Love of God" by President Uchtdorf. This is a must read. Studying this talk has really strengthened my testimony of Heavenly Father's love for us and the love that I want to have for others.
• Attempted to sort through all sorts of ridiculous charges on someone's tuition receipts.
• Asked lots of questions.
• Tracked down mystery employees and then terminated their records when they proved to no longer exist.
• Restocked the NOB workrooms with just about everything (hand sanitizer, 5 different kinds of pens, 2 kinds of pencil, notepads (2 colors), highlighters (assorted colors), sticky notes (If they want fancy colors they can go find their own), tape, paper clips, binder clips and elastics. The only thing they don't seem to run out of regularly are staples and folders. At least I didn't have to order more tissues. Seriously, how can they go through so many tissues?
• Tried again to convince managers that they have to submit a Workfront request to have an employee terminated instead of forwarding me an old e-mail. We have a process for a reason... so I don't have to e-mail you five times to get all the information I need and then forward it all to five different people.
• Attend a meeting to discuss how we get new employees set up with everything. Apparently we all thought someone else was doing it when the managers were having to call all the departments individually. Whoops.
• Added up the years of work for temporary employees. Temps or Contingents can only work for two years and then they have to quit for 6 months. (Otherwise the Divison of Labor comes down hard on us for not providing the same benefits we would a full-time employee.) But certain managers (cough, cough) keep trying to move their employees around so that it looks like they haven't been here two years. Which 1) does not work, 2)means that we can't help them or the employees much when the suddenly all their temps have to leave, and 3) makes my job a lot harder.
• Worked on an article.
• Attempted to sort through hiring rubrics that declined to provide either a) the number of the empty position or b) the name of the person who once had the job. Oh I'm sorry, you wanted a new language designer because someone is retiring? I'll just guess out of your fifty employees which job it is... (In case you were wondering, the phrases "That's so helpful," while dripping with sarcasm; "why would you do that?" "what were they thinking?" and "No." are very popular in our little portion of HR. Even if we don't say it to anyone else).
• Make emergency phone calls because someone's phone was not set up on time, and oh the horror! Turns out the guy has a cell-phone anyway and totally could have done without a desk-phone for a while. Why do I always get the weird assignments?

I did get two great quotes out of lunch this week.

1) When I asked an elder about his blood-sugar-tester-device another Elder exclaimed suspiciously, "It's a vampire in a box!"

2) In answer to a question, Sister Gowans explained, in the most perfect terms I've ever heard, that "

Roots Tech is like ComicCon for Family History nerds." All they need to do now is come dressed up as their favorite ancestor...

Week 29...I think

I'm beginning to lose count of how many weeks I've been on my mission. Let's just go with 6 months and some change. I hadn't meant to go this long without writing on my blog, but I've been sick, and writing takes more brain power than reading. My tension headaches have come back, and my immune system has taken a hit, but I'm beginning to do better and I got to Salt Lake twice this week.

I did pick up a writing assignment for a writer that quit, and I managed to get that done before I got too sick. You can read it by following this link here: Choosing Mindfulness

I'm also teaching the CTR 5 class now. I miss my sweet eight-year-olds, but I'm sure this new class will be fun too. I'm still learning how to teach them, but I'm sure it will get easier as I get to know them better.

Lately, my missionary assignments have included:

• Creating instructions (with screenshots) to teach directors how to add items to the agenda in a meeting software called DecisionPoint. 
• Create a powerpoint template for managers and directors to fill out when they want a new employee. In case you're wondering, they use your tithing very well. Managers have to give a lot of proof that there is absolutely no other way to accomplish the work without another employee.
• I submitted lots and lots of educational reimbursements. My teenage self used to complain that I would never use the math I used in class. I was right. I add up the tuition and times by 75%. And I get a calculator. Take that, math tests!
• Fixed reporting lines
• Tried to explain to Church Security that we did not want to create HR accounts for over 500 volunteer interpreters... 
• Arranged for desk space and a phone for a visiting employee from Europe.
• Writing short articles.

I did learn the names of some interesting languages while discussing interpreter badges. I had to look up where some (read "most") of them were from. The world is so much bigger than I ever could have imagined. It makes me realize how much there is to learn and see in this life. The list included interpreters for:

Amheric (spoken in Ethiopia), Apache, Arabic, ASL, Armenian, Bulgarian, Burmese, Cambodian, Cantonese, Cebuano, Chuukese (from the Chuuk islands in Micronesia), Croatian, Efik (southeastern Nigerian ethnic group), Farsi, Fijian, French, German, Hatian, Hiligaynon (central Philippines), Hindi, Hmong (So. China, Northern SE Asia), Igbo (Nigerian ethnic group), Ilokano (Filipino language), Indonesian, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Kosraean (Kosrae Island in Micronesia), Laotian, Lingala (Bantu language in Congo and DCR), Malay, Mandarin, Marshallese (Marshall Islands in Micronesia), Mongolian, Navajo, Palauan (Micronesian language in Guam, Mariana Islands, and Palau), Papiamento (One of my old Spanish teachers is a translator for them. Used in the So. Caribbean, it's a mix of Spanish, Dutch, and Portuguese), Pohnpeian (Caroline Islands in Micronesia), Polish, Portuguese, Russian, Samoan, Serbian, Sinhala (people from No. India and Sri Lanka), Slovak, Spanish, Swahili, Tahitian, Tamil (a people in So. India and Sri Lanka), Telugu (India), Thai, Tongan, Turkish, Twi (Akan language in Ghana and Ivory Coast), Urdu (variation of Hindi) Vietnamese, Yapese (Yap Island in Micronesia), Yoruba (an ethnic group living in Nigeria and nearby countries). 

It's a crazy, beautiful world out there.