Week 25 - Christmas is Coming! Also, Thanks is Due.

This blog post is brought to you by: Mike and Stephanie Ward and the miracles of heaven.

Friday was an interesting day, but I was very blessed, so I feel like thanks is due to a great many people.

-Thank you to Andrew who ordered me to leave early in order to try to beat the storm.

Andrew got this message from his son, but we had no idea how fast the storm would come in. Unfortunately, the blizzard hit between my getting on I-15 and I-80. Drivers were encouraged to avoid Parleys if they didn't have 4 wheel drive or chains, so I had to pull off I-80 in the middle of I had no idea. I parked in an empty church parking lot in the freezing cold and called Mom.

-Thank you Mom for finding me phone numbers since I never thought to program some into my phone for emergencies.

If mom hadn't helped me I would have probably ended up going to my best friend's grandparent's in-law. (Yes, I know where they live. Mandy and I are that kind of friends). The Brosnahans are super nice and offered to let me stay at their house last Christmas, but I still would have felt very uncomfortable showing up on their porch and asking if they remembered their grandson's wife's best friend and could I maybe wait out the storm on their couch?

-Thank you Uncle Mike, for sacrificing an hour of your busy work day at the hospital to kindly rescue your stranded and clueless niece.

Mike spent about an hour on the phone with me, helping me figure out where the heck I was (Millcreek, as it turns out) and giving me step-by-step instructions to his house in Cottonwood Heights and telling me how to get in through the garage. He even offered to take me home in his truck if the roads didn't get better. I ended up taking a nap on the couch for a couple of hours, and was very relieved to be out of the storm.

-Thank you to Aunt Stephanie for welcoming me into her home when she had four kids to care for.

Even though they were late for their anniversary date that night, Steph found me a pillow, blankets, and a tooth brush in case I couldn't make it home that night. She and Mike also made sure I was well fed and felt comfortable. They are angels.

-Thank you to the Highway Patrol and all people who drive the snowplows for working so hard to help everyone get home.

-Thank you to Heavenly Father and the angels that protected me and made me feel safe.

I felt very blessed on Friday. Even though I stress out over everything, I felt calm and safe even when I was cold and lost and couldn't see through the snow. When I was set apart as a missionary, I was promised that I would be alert as I commuted and that I would be protected. I definitely felt that protection on Friday. Lots of drivers got stuck or crashed that day, but I was able to drive home safely that night when the canyon was mostly cleared. Even more, I felt completely safe as I drove, if a bit worried. I was home before 8 and able to sleep in my own bed. Thank you to everyone who helped me and prayed for me. It made a big difference.

Side note: it is probably faster to take a sled down Parley's when it is snowing. Traffic was at a measly 15 mph, but I'm pretty sure with the lane that hadn't been plowed I could easily have gotten 80 on a sled.

...

And just for my own record's sake, here are the things I did this week:

• Watch the BYU Special, Winter Thaw, for FHE. Maybe it's because I haven't seen a movie in six months, but I thought it was very good. You'll have to watch it.
• Set up for a surprise baby-shower for Enchantment. It was a complete success and they even found a bakery that make dairy/egg/gluten free cake. Even more amazing, it was really good!
• Explain to someone that I can't transfer an employee that was never hired by the Church in the first place (sometimes managers get sneaky and hire another temp without telling us).
• Fuss with a different spreadsheet (purple is done, green is transferred, orange means the manager messed up and has some explaining to do)...
• Explain that re-hiring people is not my job.
• Terminate and transfer employees.
• Update spreadsheets. Actually, it's just THE spreadsheet. I create a new version every week.
• Add people to e-mail list.
• Add agenda items.
• Recycle a lot of boxes (My office has been the temporary storage unit for the employee Christmas presents). I don't even feel like complaining, I love my desk so much.
• Approve parking requests. Apparently this is part of my job? I'll assume I have that power since it worked.
• Create a powerpoint.
• Lead the music at our PSD Christmas Devotional. Bishop Waddell was presiding, but I was surprisingly calm.
• Attempt to find somewhere you can get a Swiss Legend watch repaired.

Week 24

Dear Friends and Family,

This week I:

• Ordered flowers
• Looked up addresses
• Converted another armadillo load of employees from one kind of temp worker to another. This time it required some investigation as half the fields I needed were not on the spreadsheet.
• Attended a writers Christmas party where we exchanged books and I got to cuddle the most adorable little 2 month-old baby. We're pals now. He just doesn't know it.
• Attended a few minutes of the missionary Christmas party (it started as it was time for me to leave) and ate a lot of treats.
• Trained a 5th person to do the mail. Five. Ridiculous.
• Went to the 28th floor to deliver mail. They just recently turned this into office space. It has a bit of a Hogwarts aspect to it. If you don't want to climb 58 flights of stairs you have to take the high speed elevator (skips 2-13) up to 26, go around a few corners, and take the hidden mini elevator up the last two floors. 
• Made lots of agenda updates.
• Scheduled some meetings.
• Got people lots of strange building accesses. (The access, not the buildings).
• Explained that something was a finance problem, not a HR problem.
• Submitted another Education Reimbursement.
• Did about 3 minutes of transcription work.
• Requested guest parking.
• Calendared all the different director's vacations so we don't schedule meetings then.
• Terminated employees. Mwhahaha. No, actually I just do the paperwork when they resign, but termination makes it sound much worse.
• Attended Ryan's choir concert.
• Attended Carter's band concert.
• Visited Sally, my friend and former flute teacher. She was a bit disappointed though, to find out that since I'm on a mission she couldn't set me up with her nephew...
• Found 10 minutes to practice my flute. Probably should invest in a little more since Mom signed me up to play for the Relief Society...

And now, our weekly segment on Primary Stories:

For our ward Christmas party last week we had a luau, complete with pit-roasted pig. I thought this was cool even if I wasn't interested in eating it. And then I saw Suzie with her face buried in her mothers stomach. I'd forgotten that pigs were one of her favorite animals, and she was quite upset at its fate. Now I would like to say that I said something nice and comforting, but of course what came out of my mouth was, "Well, at least it isn't a whale." Which, whales being her favorite animal, is not one of the most comforting thing I could have said. Good one, Sister Ward.

On Sunday I taught a lesson on the resurrection. While they were particularly squirmy this week, it was actually a very good lesson as they had lots of questions. To review, we watched some scenes from the bible videos, beginning when Christ was already on the cross. It was sweet to see how concerned they were for Jesus. Despite their wiggles, the Spirit was there.

At the beginning of this same lesson, Jimmy told me (out of the blue) "Don't say the word 'blood,' it makes me sick." Every little head in the room turned to him in disbelief. "No it doesn't!" the other kids exclaimed. "All you do is tell gross stories full of blood!" I had to smother a laugh. It's true, most of his stories involve blood. Anyone who can spend five minutes describing the changing colors of his cold sore is not in any danger of losing their breakfast over the word "blood." He's just the ultimate drama king. Kid's brains are so funny.


I also had a neat experience while reading my scriptures last week that I forgot to record. I was struggling with not being a proselyting missionary again. I love my mission, and I do feel like the work I do is important. However, it is hard sometimes when I see proselyting missionaries and read talks about bringing souls unto Christ. When I originally put in my papers, I thought I would have that chance to testify of Christ and share the joy of the gospel directly. So last week I was reading my scriptures and praying that I would find understanding or satisfaction with the work I do instead. I was reading in Mosiah, I think, when I came across the scripture that says "how beautiful upon the mount are the feet of him who publisheth peace." I just had this immediate sense that the Lord was aware of me personally and valued the work I do. After all, what more perfect scripture for a missionary working in Church Publishing Services to stumble across than one about publishing the Lord's peace?

I am so grateful for the Gospel and my Savior. I know the Church is true and that our Heavenly Father loves us. He's right there, you just have to look for him. I haven't always seen the Lord's hand in my life, but looking back, his fingerprints are all over the place. I am so glad that he has been there for me and guided me to where I need to be today.

Love,

Sister Ward

Week 23

Dear Family and Friends,

As of this week I am officially the HR Assistant for Publishing Services, instead of the backup. New Mommy came in the other day and handed in her official resignation, so I guess I get to keep my giant desk. I will miss seeing her again, but I'm happy for her. At least this makes my e-mail signature less of a lie. You see, if I have to do HR business with somebody who doesn't know who I am, I use a signature that says I am the HR Assistant, instead of a YCSM, because otherwise they probably wouldn't believe me. It's easier than wasting all that time explaining that I am indeed a responsible adult and that I am actually supposed to be handling HR business. I had a surreal moment when Actually-knows-everything called the cubicle "Sister Ward's desk." I was like, "My desk...I like that...my desk."Even though I've been using this desk for almost three months. Anyway, I made it official, and put a sticky note with my name on my office plaque.

I also had an article published this week: http://faithcounts.com/2-truths-lies-elephant/

I had another article published, but it's on the Church Employee Intranet, so I can't link to it. The first line stunk, but I couldn't think of anything better. The rest of it was pretty okay though, if I do say so myself. It was on leading like the Savior, and how different people need different things from their leaders.

This week I:

• Came into the office an extra day so my sick supervisor would agree to stay home but I ended up staying home the next day instead.
• Trained a fourth person to do the mail.
• Found out I will probably be training a fifth person to do the mail (the previous victim kept getting lost or something).
• Tracked down missing mail.
• Delivered a lot of mail.
• Started an intern's hiring paperwork.
• Delivered a cell-phone.
• Analyzed a couple articles about a donkey (long story short they were really good so I'm trying to learn from the writer). If you get a chance, read the "Running with Sherman" series on the New York Times.
• Tried to wash the road salt off the windows. Twice. It was mostly successful.
• Moved an armadillo load of employees from Nexeo to ESG. 
• Successfully transfered a call for the second time!
• Found the box of Christmas gifts and cards for our Spanish speaking employees in a mountain of boxes.
• Became proficient at hip-bumping the security scanner. Full hands--you do what you gotta do.
• Transcribed a speech on authenticity in writing.
• Assigned building access.
• Updated e-mail lists. If people would just stop quitting I wouldn't spend so much time doing paperwork...
• Did NOT get any e-mails from the one person who always has an 'emergency.' I finally caught on to him trying to get around the rules by getting the naive missionary to do it. Now that I tell him to do it the right way he's stopped asking me... =)
• Wrote an department update in which I slapped people on the wrists for addressing personal packages to work. (There is a tower of packages by the front entrance, and I sincerely doubt that you need anything from Macy's to do your job).
• Gave church photographers access to the Church Directory of Leaders. They're going to be visiting members in Ireland, Germany, Tonga, New Zealand, and Australia. The only place I'm visiting is the isle of Great Jealousy. I hear everyone there has green eyes.
• Attended an HR meeting where people complained about all the managers who break hiring rules and make our spreadsheets gross.

And now, for our pet stories: Featuring Merlin the Cat

Ringo and Merlin are friends, but mostly ignore each other. However, we take every opportunity we can get to encourage them to play-fight with each other. They take on the traditional cat and dog roles, Ringo chasing Merlin like he might actually have a chance. Earlier this week they were running around, having a great time while we were egging them on, when Merlin got distracted by a piece of string. Now,  Ringo never gave this string a moment's notice, but he figured if the cat liked it, it must be important. Before we could stop him he dashed up under Merlin's nose and ATE the string. Well, it's all fun and games until someone eats the cat's string. Ringo bolted all the way across the living room, where he leapt on the couch to mom for protection, Merlin in hot pursuit. When his claws came out, we decided it was time to cool off, and poor kitty was finally let outside. Moral of the story: don't eat the cat's string. He likes it more than he likes you.

When I pulled into the garage on Wednesday, Merlin poked his head out of his kitty shelter.  Dad made this shelter out of an old cooler with a hole in the side and a heating pad back when we thought we were going to have an outside-only cat (ha!). Well, when I pulled into the garage, I see Merlin poke his cute little face out followed by his shoulders, and then he dragged the rest of his body through the hole, his belly barely making it out. It was like Winnie the Pooh. Oh, I laughed. I laughed so hard I cried. Poor kitty. It's not his fault. He just won't stop growing!

I didn't make it to the temple this week, but I did receive some pictures from Rachel. =) It was good to see you, my friend.

P.S. I love you.

Week 22- Primary Tales

This last week has been an odd one. Because I serve a mission as a Church employee, I can't go in to work on holidays. Instead I serve from home. I don't mind this when it is only a day, but I've learned that it is hard to be a self-motivated missionary when everyone else is on a holiday for a few days. It's not that I dislike the work...it just doesn't feel very urgent and if I'm in a funk I don't feel like doing anything. This week though, I am going to rededicate myself to the work.

We also had the primary program last week. Oh boy. I didn't like all the practicing it involved as a kid, but I do enjoy watching as an adult. I sit somewhere in the middle as a teacher. This time, about 10 minutes into the program, Jimmy looks back and me and asks, "Can I go the the bathroom?" I shook my head. Of course he can't go in the middle of the program! He frowned at me. "When are we going to have a break?" And so I found myself explaining during the Valiant 8 lines, that we were not going to have a bathroom break in the middle of the actual performance... This is one of those things I never thought I would say as a teacher. You learn new things every day.

Jimmy also likes to tell stories. Before we began our lesson on forgiveness, I asked the kids if how they had practiced service last week, to follow up on the previous lesson. The kids all give their answers, telling how they helped clean and put their little brothers to bed, but Jimmy isn't done. I knew I might regret this, but I let him go ahead.  He starts "I served my mom by putting my little brother to bed and cleaning up his toys, and..." I looked at him suspiciously, "Jimmy...you don't have a little brother. I thought you were the youngest." Yep. He's totally spinning a yarn, but he's not done. He tries to convince us that he was really helping his mom put his big brother to bed. Uh-huh. "Thank you, Jimmy. Maybe you can serve your mom this week by putting yourself to bed." That funny kid. He wasn't trying to lie. He just loves to talk, and he'll do anything to spin a good yarn. I just had to laugh. At least this one didn't involve blood, puking, or the various changing colors of his cold sore...

After the primary program last week, we played a game of scripture charades. This was hilarious. One, because the sunbeams had noah's ark, but they all wanted to be the animals, leaving nobody to be Noah. And secondly, because my class is way too enthusiastic. We got the story of Jonah and the whale. Even our usually calm Suzie is jumping up and down to be Jonah because, "Whales are my favorite!" I'd already told Carson that he could be Jonah, so I said, "How about you and Annie be the whale?" I've never seen a whale bounce and squeal so much. Meanwhile, the rest of the kids played the sailors that threw Jonah overboard. Unfortunately, they got a little too enthusiastic and poor Carson when flying so far the 'whale' had to chase him down to swallow him. It was quite the charade.

Week 21- Rachel and the Michelin Turkey

I had a special treat this week. My friend Rachel and I arranged to go to the temple together (quite a feat when you do it through weekly e-mail). It was wonderful to see her and hear how she was doing.

 Some of the things I've done:

• Repaired last week's transcription (It was really rough, as you recall).
• Transcribed a new speech
• Resized pictures for my article which has been approved for publication on the church employee intranet.
• Updated spreadsheets
• Stared at other spreadsheets
• Gave badge access
• Found out that PSD now covers at least two more floors. We have people everywhere from the first floor to the 28th. Crazy.
• Moved a lot x2 of people to different supervisors.
• Called bishops
• Listened to a YCSM Devotional by Sister Elaine S. Dalton
• Added agenda items to a 3 hour meeting I am glad I don't attend.
• Edited the PSD Systems Newsletter. It's all about the new software. What do I know about software? Also, I don't get excited about software...I end up taking out a lot of exclamation points because I feel it sounds like we're selling it. Why can't they just say, "We have this awesome new software that will fix this problem." I guess people don't hire minimalists for marketing.
• Filed an education re-imbursement.
• Mail. Lots of mail again.
• Distributed ads for a blood drive that I most certainly will not be attending. I hate having blood drawn.
• Collected blood drive ads to throw away three days later.
• Wrote a little
• Gave more people CDOL access
• Had four phone lines to myself...the perfect opportunity for people to call with strange questions.
• Attended a great community of practice meeting on editing.
• Attend a sisters only meeting.
• Recycle a lot of confidential paperwork. The box is locked and only has a slit so you have to shove it in a little bit at a time. Working in the directors' office, I get to recycle plenty of this.
• And... bum bum bum BUM! I successfully transferred a call for the first time ever!

In contrast to my crazy list, here is the list of things that are part of a regular schedule.

1. Create and send out a new spreadsheet on empty job positions.
2. Print the completed spreadsheet for the HR director.
3. Send out assignments for a directors meeting.
4. Attend District Meeting.

Yep. That's it.

The office was really quiet on Friday when I was answering phones. That is, until a couple women decided to take decorating into their own hands. You see, one of the directors has a 18 in. michelin man on his desk (for reasons unbeknownst to the rest of us). A couple of the managers felt that his office needed some sprucing up, so they stole the michelin man and returned it...like this:

On a more spiritual note, I have been listening to the Hope Works Series along with my scripture study and have learned a lot. They are very much like spiritual Ted Talks, and are both fun and inspiring. I just listened to this one today, and I encourage you to watch it if you have a moment:

Week 20, Ryan's Mottos, and a Story of Enchantment

Things I did this week:

• Took 3 hours to transcribe a very rough draft of a 35 minute talk. I volunteered, but it's a good thing it was a very interesting talk.
• Delivered mail to get the new mail-missionary caught up.
• Deliver a package that will assist in the translation of the scriptures into Lao. Pretty cool.
• Become anxious to the point of nauseousness because someone flirted with me. Hopefully I'll get over that by the time my mission ends...
• Run into my best-friend's husband's grandma at the temple, which made me ridiculously happy.  She was so sweet and gave me a hug, which was just what I needed that day.
• Only had to drive to Salt Lake twice this week. The office was slow, so I worked from home. =)
• Try to figure out some really confusing paperwork requests
• File more educational reimbursements...must be that time of year.
• Explain that I can't change information for an employee we haven't hired yet.
• Be at least the third person to tell someone that managers have to request employee data changes, not them! They thought they could get around the rules by getting the gullible missionary to do it. Not today, bud!
• Have a manager request to get around the system for employee changes. My manager gave him a one word answer: "nope." =) If only I could get away with that. So far, it looks like he didn't need it that bad, because he never filed the proper requests.
• Deliver five bottles of white out.
• Search the whole NOB trying to figure out who absconded with three video-carts. I only look like an innocent lost missionary...I'm really hunting you down and reporting you to the authorities. ;)
• Set up lots of agenda items.
• Set up an agenda item entitled "DAM presentation." Maybe they shouldn't use an acronym for that one. Then again, maybe it's for our own entertainment.
• Attempt to convince and/or teach people to correct their office addresses so we can deliver their mail...I should make it an assignment they have to check off so that it nags them until they do it.
• Give people access to buildings and church directories.
• Get myself into a small wild goose chase trying to figure out whose cows got loose. I thought I would just chase them back and close the gate after them, but I couldn't figure out where they got out in the first place. I guess cows are smarter than they look.
• Take Ringo for a ride in the car while I returned some library books. He was shaking with fear and smiling into the wind at the same time. Just a guess, but I don't think he's a roller-coaster kind of dog.

I always forget to post this, but within a couple of weeks Ryan made two statements that were so true to his character that we couldn't do anything but laugh.
Ryan's two mottos:

1.You should never, EVER, hurry.

2. Condiments should NOT be taken lightly.

I also have a really neat story for you this week. This is about a manager I call Enchantment. Enchantment is the nicest person. She is one of those beautiful people who glows from the inside and makes everyone around her feel loved. She even makes work requests sound loving. And she is leaving in January. I'm really sad that she's leaving, but I'm happy for her at the same time.

You see, Enchantment had cancer when she was three. The doctors saved her life, but she grew up knowing that she would never be able to have children. This is heartbreaking to me. There is something so special about the knowledge that someday I will get to feel that precious little person inside of me. Enchantment would make a wonderful mother, yet she grew up knowing she may never have that chance. This year, that changes.

Adoption is difficult, and Enchantment and her husband haven't had that opportunity so far, although they want to. Furthermore, I think it must hurt someone as empathetic as she is to know that for her to have a child, another woman must give hers up. However, Enchantment's cousin felt prompted to make a beautiful offer to this family. She offered to become a surrogate mother. I am sure this is a huge sacrifice, but you can see the joy on Enchantment's face. This baby was hers from the beginning. She gets to feel the baby kick, and wait with anticipation for his birth. They have already chosen a beautiful name for this baby boy of theirs. And when he is born, she will be right there, and the doctors will put that baby in Enchantment's arms. Her own little boy, forever. The miracle baby she never thought she would have. Miracles may not happen in the way we expect them to, but they happen. I am so happy for Enchantment and her family, and feel so blessed to watch this miracle unfold for them.

Week 19

I've been 'out' on my mission for over four months now. It's crazy. I feel like I just started. I have been very blessed. Normally a job like I am doing now, which involves processing lots of data, would make me miserable. However, despite the work sometimes being difficult and not my favorite, I really do enjoy my job in Publishing Services. I feel needed, which makes a big difference. When I began my service mission, I was afraid that they would just stick me somewhere and give me busy work to make me feel better, but that has never been the case. I feel like my contribution is valuable and my service welcomed.

I do have trouble transitioning between different kinds of jobs. If I've been handling data, it takes about twenty minutes for my brain to transition to writing. I wish it were like a switch that I could turn on and off, but that's just not how it works. I kind of have to dig into my creative zone like it's a foxhole. It's always under there, I think, but it gets buried. People don't want creative solutions to a termination form. I think I can move back to data okay, just not the other way around.

Two of my articles were published in the last little while. Listicles are popular, but they feel rather cold to me. My favorite was the Doctor Who article:

You can read "7 Tips to Make Prayer More Meaningful" here.
And read "When Bad Things Happen To Good People--Life Lessons From Doctor Who" here.


<<Insert logical transition here =) >>

One of the kids made a really gruesome jack-o-lantern this year. Besides the knife sticking out of its head, it's eating a doll's leg and there is blood dripping out of its mouth. It's both clever and disgusting. So while I wasn't planning on decorating a pumpkin this year,  I decided that our porch needed something more kid-friendly to balance out the effect. I actually had a lot of fun making mine. 

I present to you: Princess Patty. (I was just going to stick a crown and wand on a pumpkin, but mom donated all the old dress-ups, so I had to improvise. Hurrah for tinfoil!)

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Pet update: Ringo has a bow tie! I love our dog. He's so cute. It totally makes up for how neurotic he is. (He's getting older and therefore moodier.) We also tried to get him a dog sweater, but that didn't work out so great... It was too small. It was like putting the shirt on Gus-Gus in Cinderella. Poor little stuffed sausage. =)

I also found this picture, which never fails to make me smile. Ringo has since lost his raccoon tail, but we got a good laugh while he had it. He was afraid we were going to take it away, so he'd run around with it in his mouth and whine if we got to close.

And here we have Merlin, in his natural habitat. If you were to get close enough you would see that the inside of his mouth is as marbled as his fur. Unfortunately, most of those who get to see the inside of his mouth also see the inside of his stomach...

Here you can see us having a family learning experience from when dad was taking a class and had to prove that he taught five people about his experiment. Ringo is #5.

I also got a new missionary picture because they lost a bunch and had to take all of them over again.

Now for the weekly 'things I did' list:

• Process education reimbursements
• Process transfers, terminations, and every other weird request we get
• Finish an article
• Get up at 5:50 to set up for a writers symposium
• Mix up the building the symposium was in
• Be misinformed on the time the symposium started (are you sensing a trend?)
• Have a major wardrobe fail...(more on this later)
• Fix a watch (not mine)
• Fix a necklace (mine)
• Start an article for the church employee network which I think (read 'hope') nobody reads.
• Be told NOT to process paperwork because the managers are going about it all wrong and breaking the rules.
• Attend an absolutely awesome writing and editing symposium put on by the writing and editing resource managers. This made me miss school and realize how much I love the academic life. I just felt like I belonged there. These were my people! Also, I get their sense of humor, which makes a big difference in my ability to understand them.
• Fiddled with giant spreadsheets.
• Set up meetings.
• Got people building access.
• Ran into lots of glitches with the 'updated' PeopleSoft.
• Asked a bishop to clear his own wife for the Mormon Channel.
• Decided by Thursday that I am done with humans.

So...wardrobe fail. You'll get a good laugh out of this, Grammy. I know I did. 

It just so happens that I hate wearing nylons and tights. The people who designed superhero costumes obviously never had to wear nylons, because the only super thing about them is their discomfort level. I cannot see how anyone would wear a skin tight suit when they could choose street clothes. But I digress. It is starting to get cold for someone in a skirt and I was beginning to rethink my dislike of nylons, so I was delighted when mom found me thigh-high nylons. Those I can handle, right? Wrong. They were comfortable enough, but they didn't quite fit... Monday morning and I'm not even out of the conference center parking lot before I can feel them slipping down. I stop a few times and furtively adjust them but figure I will at least make it into work. By the time I'm crossing North Temple Street, in front of all the morning commuters, these nylons have mutinied. I have giant lace and elastic ruffles sinking around my calves like hideous upside-down bloomers. But as I march across the street I had the thought, "Well, it could be my skirt in the Walmart parking lot" and began to laugh. As Grammy taught me, you can cry or you can laugh. It's better to laugh.

I love you all. Have a wonderful week.

-Sister Ward